Criticism is attractive to the one giving it and many at times not pleasant to the one receiving the criticism.
Though criticism is sometimes helpful, it does less good to both the person criticizing and the one being criticized. We may all be familiar with the negative effects of unconstructive criticism to the receiver but not many of us have thought about its negative consequence on the critic as well.
So why Do we love to criticize?
It is simply because criticizing others makes us feel powerful, makes us feel good about ourselves by hitting hard on other people’s faults and inadequacies. We hardly criticize because we empathize with the person at fault.
The true reason for wanting to criticize others is because it gives you the opportunity to justify your own inadequacies, shortcomings and non achievement by convincing yourself that you are better than the person who had the courage to try something and made mistakes.
Here are some of the damaging effects of criticizing others
#1 Criticism Cripples Your Courage To Attempt Anything Worthwhile
A chronic critic is afraid to make mistakes on his own. With that embedded in his sub consciousness, he will never attempt anything worthwhile with his life. A critic will only play in the safe parameters of his comfort zone because he is afraid to be criticized himself.
#2 A Critic will lose his license to lead others
Nobody will want to be led by a critic. In fact as much as a critic can easily point out the worse in you, they have no clue as to how to bring the best in others.
Leadership is all about bringing the best in your followers in order to achieve a common goal. This is an impossible task for the one who criticizes others.
#3 A Critic lives in Denial of his own self
Criticism erases the opportunity for the critic to look within himself, reflect on his own weakness and get help. A critic will instead justify his weakness by looking out for people who in his own estimation have worse character flaws. As long as a critic can feel there is someone out there who is worse than himself, they are fulfilled.
#4 A Critic Makes Poor Choices of Friends
In life, one of the proven and tested accelerated routes to success is associating with the right people. The right people are normally better and more successful than you are. It is intimidating at first to be in such company but after a while you will realize you are also becoming better and more successful. A critic can never associate with such people because the very thought of it will cripple and deflate his lame and weak ego.
# 5 Criticism Makes You Shallow
Hang around critics for a while, and you will discover that they are usually very shallow and bereft of the facts behind what they are criticizing. The knack to criticize others denies the critic the opportunity to probe further regarding the issue and try to understand into details. Frankly speaking, if you truly understand the reasons behind someone’s actions and inactions you will hardly criticize same.
# 6 You Normally Have the Same Weakness as What You Are Tempted to Criticize
I discovered this shocking truth many years ago, that usually people are attracted to criticize things of which they have the same weakness.
I have a relative who was a vehement critic of his “irresponsible” father ,who according to him chose rather to go about impregnating other women instead of focusing on taking care of his own wife and children. By the time this friend’s dad was fifty years, he had given birth to ten children with four different women!
This dude never saw eye to eye with his father because of his dad’s exploits with women.
Fast forward today, this friend of mine is only thirty years and he has already given birth to three children with three different women! He is likely to break his dad’s record I bet!
If I put a pack of cigarette in a hall with a group of people, the one likely to notice it will usually be the person with nicotine addiction issues.
Anytime you spot a flaw in others, it is simply an indication that deep down in you lie same and greater flaw. The best you can do is to pray for such person and also for yourself ,so that you don’t fall into temptation. You can also approach the person and correct such with love and not with malice.
To borrow the words of Jesus
““Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Desist from being a critic today and rather seek to add value to others and most especially yourself.
Also, whatever dream God has placed in your heart, don’t stop pursuing it because of critics, because most of the times, critics tend to have no solution at all to offer.
From the desk of ROL